Should you tell a friend everything?

 "A friend today, could be an enemy tomorrow".

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you. Elbert Hubbard

The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for. Bob Marley.

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you haven't learned anything. Muhammad Ali

I've witnessed the fall of a friendship recently, and when they spilled the beans things got ugly. They both said things they shouldn't have said, and the big question was. Were they ever friends?

Many of us have either broken off friendships or witnessed other people who were no longer friends disclose things they've vowed to keep amongst themselves. 

Should we tell our friends everything? If yes, what are your reasons for doing so? If not, what's your reason for not telling your friends everything?

In forging friendships we must remember that no relationship is set in stone, and due to the fragility of our human nature, we're all capable of hurting each other, both intentionally and unintentionally. Should you share everything about your life with a friend?

1. Does your friend need to know?

I've heard many times that people shouldn't know everything about you. Many of us have been left with serious emotional damage from saying too much in the wrong ears.

There are some details of our lives that people aren't just going to welcome with open arms. As humans we're prone to be judgmental and even if we think we're not. There are times when we judge people harshly without realizing that we're doing so.

Do you feel that your friend needs to know every detail about your life? Do you think you know everything about theirs? Could releasing certain details about your life harm you in the long run? These are some things to think about.

2. Could you ruin other relationships?

Some things should only be discussed with and remain between the parties involved. How often do you tell your friend what's happening amongst your family members? Do they need to be updated with all that's happening within your family?

 Have you thought about how that person(s) would feel if they found out that you shared something confidential about their life?

3. How much do you know about your friend?

You may know that they love dogs and dislike cats. They prefer to stay home than go out to a party, or they are a fan of football and not tennis. 

These are only basic knowledge. On a personal level, how much do you know about your friend?  Have they limited your access to only knowing as little as possible about them? 

4. How does your friend handle intimate details about their life?

Is your friend mindful about what they say and who they're saying it to? Or do they run to everyone with their business? If they do, chances are they'll do the same with yours. If they have no shame in granting public access to their personal life. They won't keep yours on the down low either.

5. How would you feel if other people know?

Would you be angry or embarrassed if your friend shared something you wanted them to keep between you both? We're all guilty of sharing things that we shouldn't.

 There are times when we say things to our best friend, who might say it to their other best friend and it gets to a point where something that was meant to stay within an inner circle reaches an entire community.

6. How will your friend perceive what you say?

Do you have a caring and understanding relationship with your friend? Are they a casual friend, or someone you have a strong bond with? Could releasing too much about yourself draw them closer or push them away from you? 

If you aren't too sure about how your friend will handle certain details about your life, then you shouldn't say it to them, until you have the confidence that they'll be open and honest to accept you for who you are.

7. How do you feel about yourself?

The way you feel about yourself is of utmost importance. People sometimes know things that we wouldn't want them to know, and they do add their side of the story. 

You must learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes, accept your flaws and love yourself for who you are. You can't expect people to accept you for who you are when you haven't done so yourself. 

Final thoughts:

 From previous experiences that I've had with sharing intimate details about my life, I don't share everything about myself with my friends and they don't share everything about themselves with me. 

Simply put, people shouldn't know everything about you and you shouldn't feel compelled to tell them everything.

 I believe that there are certain aspects of our lives that only God can understand.   What are your thoughts about this, should you tell your friend everything?

See:

Signs your friend is coming to an end 

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