10 Signs your relationship is dying.

 

Cheating, lying and abuse are usually the main players in the death of a relationship but other things like poor communication, immaturity, and incompatibility are just as bad.

Sometimes the best option for both parties is to go their separate ways. 

It takes teamwork to keep a relationship afloat. If all the effort is being put out by one person. It will feel strenuous and lopsided, and that person will become frustrated.

Today, I'll share with you 10 signs that your relationship isn't going anywhere. These are things that I've learned while dating and after being married.

1. There's no good communication; you argue more than you talk.

One of the signs of a healthy relationship is that you can have respectful and mature conversations with your partner. If you find that a simple discussion turns to shouting, swearing and name-calling it's a sign of poor communication.

You should be able to have discussions without feeling that you're venturing down a dangerous path, you're preparing for a debate, or your partner might not speak to you for a week because of something you might say.

Schedule dates to talk about your relationship.

“Commit to investing an hour—on an ongoing basis—to work on strengthening your relationship, troubleshooting, and making it more satisfying,” says Manhattan-based licensed clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona, Psy.D. Set up a weekly or monthly dinner where you only talk about relationship issues or goals.

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2. You feel like the brain, all the thinking is left up to you.

 While you may not want to fix a broken pipe because your partner is better in that area. You shouldn't have to feel like the brain in the relationship. 

You should both share your input and feelings on matters concerning the relationship. 

It shouldn't be a case where your partner is let off easy and all the thinking and decision-making is left up to you. Nothing gets done without you. It's doomsday when you're not around.

3. You're the only one who accepts responsibility.

No one gets it right all the time. It's okay to admit that we messed up. We shouldn't feel as if we're bigger than an apology.

 If your partner refuses to accept responsibility for their actions or they try to justify them. It's an indication that they don't see anything wrong with what they're doing or they see themselves as too grown to admit to their wrongdoing.

4. Your efforts are being taken for granted.

A little appreciation goes a far way. It doesn't mean that we want our partner to tell the whole world what we're doing for them, but a  sense of being appreciated in their lives works wonders.

If every day all you're getting is, I can do without you. You'll feel as though you serve no real purpose in your partner's life.

Who wants someone who treats them as though they can always do without them. We all want to feel as if we hold an important place in our partner's life.

Be candid about your feelings—the good and the bad.

Regularly opening up can help bring you closer, says psychotherapist Beth Sonnenberg, L.C.S.W. “Once you think that your feelings don’t matter, won’t be heard, or are not worth sharing, you open the door to harbor negativity and resentment.” That includes positive feelings, too, she points out—especially when they’re connected with your partner. “People need to feel appreciated in any relationship,” she adds.

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5. You're not being met any at all.

Your relationship is a partnership, not a sponsorship. Both of you should contribute your fair share. You should both feel a part of a team. Win all, lose all!

It shouldn't be a case where one party is doing all the work while the other does little to nothing and enjoy the benefits. You should both take care of each other's needs. None should be of greater importance than the other.

 

6. You feel like the only adult in the relationship.

Your partner is your other half. Not someone that you should be coaching all the time. 

Nothing is wrong with correcting your partner or teaching them how to do something,  but you shouldn't have to be looking over their shoulders all the time.

You'd expect an adult to have a certain level of maturity. In that, they can use their initiative and make conscious choices.

 It's not your responsibility to raise your partner. If you have to constantly tell them what they're supposed to do. The way you'd do a child 

It's an indication that they're not ready for this type of responsibility and you'll constantly feel as though you're in a parent-child relationship with them.

7. You're not growing together. Your visions for the relationship are misaligned.

Your partner is someone that you should be able to build a future with. If you don't see that happening and you feel as if you're far ahead of each other and don't share similar goals for the relationship. It's a sign that you aren't growing together. 

While your dreams may differ. You should have some common ground where both of you are moving in the same direction. You shouldn't be drifting apart, where one wants A and the other wants B.

8. Your partner feels like your roommate.

 There's little to no cohesion in the relationship. You don't see your partner as your other half. They feel more like your roommate. You live together. You do things for each other but other key elements are defunct in the relationship. You only share surface information. There's a lack of intimacy and the chemistry is evaporating.

9. They treat the relationship like a project.

The relationship feels more like a project, where you're working towards a deadline. You feel more like monthly targets, as opposed to a real person who's of great value to your partner.

10. You love each other but you are not happy together.

Love is a key element in a relationship. We were taught that love conquers all and if we have love we have everything. Every relationship does require love but love alone can't keep a relationship afloat.

Other elements are just as important: values, compatibility, beliefs, lifestyle, etc. You shouldn't have to feel that because you love your partner you should remain in a relationship that makes both of you unhappy. 

That's not healthy for either of you. Why spend the rest of your lives miserable with each other. 

Let me know below. What were some signs other than lies, abuse, and cheating that told you that your relationship was dying?

See:

7 Things that make you feel stressed, unhappy, and drained.