10 things that have helped to grow my self-confidence.

'' Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.'' Helen Keller

How many times did you fall off your bike before you started riding it without the training wheels? How many times did you scratch the car when you were learning to drive? There are so many things that you had to do repeatedly until you got them right, and there was a reason why you kept trying. You believed in yourself!

Those were the little things that boosted your confidence, even without you knowing. Those little promises that you made to yourself. I'll get it right next time! Those little moments when you chose endurance over giving up. They are what led to the big things. The next time you see someone doing what they do best, don't think that they were born prepared for it. It took them time to get there. The most influential life coach or motivational speaker is of no use to you, if you can't see the potential that they see in you.

It's up to you to believe that you can do whatever is set before you. There isn't anyone that can make you believe in your abilities; if you don't believe in yourself. I've had my struggles with self-confidence growing up.

Today, I've advanced from a girl who wouldn't raise her hand to answer a question in a class of fewer than fifty people, to an author reaching hundreds of people worldwide. Below I'll share ten things that helped to grow my self-confidence.

1. Internalize positive affirmations.

Don't just say that you are strong! You are enough! You are beautiful, etc., because it feels good to say so. You must internalize these affirmations until they become a part of you. An affirmation is like a seed that you plant in the soil. It needs sunlight, water, and air to survive. Over time the seedling will grow to maturity and produce fruits of its kind. Before the seedling reaches maturity. It may encounter some challenges and if it's not rooted properly the harsh elements of nature will annihilate it.

Like the seed, the affirmations that you plant in your life will mature in time; if you internalize them. They will manifest themselves when you are faced with the pressures of life.

2. Ask questions if you don't understand what you are being asked to do.

It's okay to say that you don't know. There isn't anyone that knows everything. Ask questions. Get a clear understanding of what you are being asked to do. If you don't have a clue what to do, ask for an explanation or a demonstration. Always be open and willing to learn.

3. Public speaking.

Public speaking has helped my confidence tremendously. I've had the opportunity to speak to large audiences at my local church. At first, I was timid and I wanted to exit the stage as soon as I got on. I was terrified of hearing my voice over the microphone. I could hear my voice crack. I would slip on words that I knew because my heart was beating too fast. My hands would shake like a reed in the wind. I was always terrified of all those eyes staring at me, but I did what I had to do.

There were times when I didn't execute well, but it got better having done the same thing on multiple occasions. Another way to grow your self-confidence through public speaking is going live on social media, creating a YouTube channel, or a podcast. These are great starters.

4. Own your voice.

Always be yourself! Your voice is your unique identity. Don't try to speak like someone else. You don't need to imitate anyone to get your message across. Be your true self. Let your voice be clear, distinct, and original. Not an impersonator! You don't need to sound like the president, or someone who's of great influence to get someone to listen to what you're saying. Believe in yourself. Whenever I'm speaking or writing I do so in my voice. I'm not pretending to be someone else, and I don't wish I was someone else. The voice you hear is mine.

5. Know your worth and practice what you preach.

Whoever you say you are that's how people are going to treat you. Stay true to the values that you uphold. Don't send mixed signals to the public. Portray the character that you want them to see. I don't go against the principles I uphold. My speech, my deportment, my attitude in and out of public spaces speaks volumes about who I am as a person. It isn't hard to make people understand what you stand for. It isn't hard to let people understand what they should and shouldn't do around you. It isn't hard to let people know your worth. Practice what you preach! It's that simple, they'll get the message.

6. Interviews

I've done several job interviews throughout my work life. Some I aced, and others I don't know what the heck I did. Regardless of the outcome, I'm glad that I was allowed to discuss a few things about myself. These sessions have helped to grow my self-confidence — especially those that I did with top-level management. I'm also grateful for the interviews that I failed; their feedback has helped me to do some things differently, and they've played a huge role in the interviews that I aced.

7. Getting married.

Walking down the isle was a nerve-wracking experience. All the jitters came on to me at that moment, but I managed to shake them off as the ceremony went on. I can honestly say that our wedding day has helped to grow my confidence. It was a big moment. I had a critical part to play and I did well!

8. Front-line work

If you're timid; customer service will make you bold. It's a lot of talking, negotiating, and problem-solving. I've spent over a decade in the customer service industry, interacting with thousands of people from various professions and backgrounds. The customer service industry has improved my communication skills and my knowledge of the industry. I remember how nervous I was after making the first debt collection call. I would feel offended when the customers were being rude.

Over time, I got better at diffusing customers' dissatisfactions without the aid of a manager, making negotiations, collecting payments, and earning consistent commissions.

9. Watching other people mastering their crafts against all odds.

There's this amazing program on Facebook called Born different. It features persons who have disabilities. When you watch these episodes you don't see their disabilities. You see their courage, resilience, confidence, and determination.

I've truly been blessed by watching these people own their craft. Many of them have created YouTube channels to spread awareness, and empower those who have similar challenges to theirs. If they can do so much despite the limitations that they have. What excuse do I have for not doing anything with my abilities?

10. Talking to myself in the mirror

I often picture myself in the mirror at an interview with someone of great influence. I would create scenarios of the questions that they would ask me and respond accordingly. I pay attention to my posture and pace my words to ensure that I'm not talking too fast, or give the impression that I'm dying for this interview to be over. I've never done an interview or a presentation without doing a mirror conversation.